The Bowl Announcing Super Team

This woke me up about a week ago and I feel compelled to share this strange saga.
Announcer: And now folks, live from Las Vegas, Nevada it's the Las Vegas Bowl with our A team of announcers Brent Mussberger, Lou Holtz and Dickie V! And now heres Brent.


Brent: A warm Holiday greeting from the Entertainment Capital of America Las Vegas.

Lou: Yes Bwent, gweetings to awl our friends.

Dickie V: Brent A roonie, It's great really super duper P-T-P time great to be here. I'm talkin Prime Time Players Bay-BEEE!!

Brent: Well Todays matchup presents Utah vs. Boise State. Utah looks awfully big. But Boise State is the prohibitive favorite.

Lou: Speaking of Big, you don't get any bigger dan the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. If da point spread was based on character, Notre Dame would be three touchdown favorites in every game.

Brent: You know Las Vegas is sure the place where people have alot of fun. Now it's a family destination. And now, a favorite of our pre game, Professor Lou's pep talk to the Underdog Utah Utes.

Lou: Now Boyz, look heh, your gonna go out on the field today, and nobody past the Wahsatch Mountain range is gonna give you a snowballs chance in hell. But when you put on dose golden helmets...oh wait your colors are red...when you put on dose red helmets and jerseys think of Ara Parseghian and Knute Wockne. Dats what I tole all the boys and it seemed to work... come to tink of it, thats what I told em at South Carolina after I left Notre Dame.
The I-Wish are playing tonight Wight??

Brent: Thanks professor, you hit it right on the head as usual. Las Vegas is a fun place to go on a holiday. And now here's a special feature, Dickie V in a pre game pep talk in the Boise Locker Room.

Dickie V: You know daddyo, I was at the Paris playin the tables the other day when who walks in but the man himself. I'm talkin baby about Robert Montgomery Knight the Legend baby the legend. And he gave me some good advice that I'm gonna give you tonight and you take it with you win lose or draw. This is advice I've heard from the friggin General himself. He said "Dickie V, you chrome domed son of a gun, if you have to be that close to the side line my teams gonna play in sunglasses so they don't lose sight of the ball coming off that damn chrome dome cue ball of yours". And the general himself, the greatest coach every since my ole friend Jimmy Naismith, told his team to wear sunglasses and that game baby will go down in history as a game changer. So Boise, wear your shades under those helmets. I wont be on the sideline tonight but if some bald guy is, you will have a great advantage. Plus you win style points Bay Bee, and style over substance is always what it's about. Now go out there and play...and good luck against those Dookies BABY, coach K will have them ready. He's got the PTP ers baby...Prime Time Players Daddyo-A Rooni. Vegas Bay Bee, where I used to hang out Frankie and Dino and my favorite little point guard of all time, Sammy Davis Jr. BABY...You talk about PTP.

Brent: Dickie, thanks but they are playing the Utah Utes. But nevertheless good advice. Las Vegas is a place where thousands of people get married each year.

Lou: Bwent, Boise is weally having a big speed advantage today. And Notre Dame will have the size.

Brent: That's Utah coach. Look at that Show Girl. They have show girls in Vegas.

Dickie: Look at those Unies BABY. Boise has the orange and blue. Just like my buddy's old uni's TRT...I'm talkin Timothy Richard Tebow. The greatest college player in the history of the sport Daddy -O...the original PTP er. I was talkin with Florida Head basketball coach Billy Donovan just the other day baby and he is good now, but his incoming class is LOADED baby with a capital L. And Tebow will soon be the MVP in the NFL baby. Mile High City watch out baby...Can you say Super Bowl City with multiple rings coming BABY. TRT in the house.

Brent: Las Vegas is the fun capital of the World....WAIT watch out, the Generals in the booth with a folding chair.

Dickie- Robert Montgomery Knight BABY.

Knight: (Hitting Dickie V over the head with a folding chair and grabbing the microphone from Brent. The General is in a red sweater with a big white I on it.) "Now look you punks, I was sent here as a representative of people everywhere to pull the plug on this team. Dickie, everyone is sick of your hype and your myopic favoritism to Duke basketball. They are great and don't need you as a mouthpiece. You're in the Basketball Hall of Fame?? There are great coaches out there that have toiled and deserve to be put in instead a hyped up gas bag like you. Plus Tebow's a great kid, but how about a little love for other players who are tons better like Sam Bradford. Professor, you are retired. Nobody cares about every team being compared to Notre Dame. Mark May is a smart man, but you've made him look like a genius one time too many. And Brent, you are being banished to being the announcer for Olympic Curling and the annual paint drying compitition in Pittsville Alabama. These will be the only times you will be allowed on TV. These venues will serve your sacchirine broadcasting style well. An oyster in a closed shell could bring more excitement to these games than you. You're saving grace was you were good for a nap...as in you put the whole audience to sleep. I'm taking over this booth and all the big games. I'll be the color man, and now here's the new voice of all sports on every network, my new partner and lead man on the network, Howard Stern".

And then I woke up in a cold sweat yet somehow happy with the new world of sports broadcasting.